BIO BABYSITS MINISTERS

Satire

Once upon a time in a bustling nursery in the heart of Freetown Sierra Leone’s capital, Head Teacher and day care attendant Julius Maada Bio found himself lamenting about the snail pace at which his baby ministers are growing.

The setting was the grand Ministerial Retreat in Bo, which had transformed from a proactive strategy session into a desperate attempt aimed at resuscitating a non-performing public service.

With a parental sigh, Bio addressed his baby ministers, their deputies, permanent secretaries, and senior baby civil servants. His tone dripping with the weariness of a babysitter who’s cleaned up one too many messes.

The theme of the gathering, “Deepening Coordination, Collaboration for Accelerated Service Delivery,” was a lofty banner under which the President’s disappointment paraded.

“It’s time for some hard truths, children,” he began, casting a stern eye over the room. “We need to correct and recalibrate, like a good nanny setting the nursery straight. Our time is short, and we’ve got to get our act together before nap time ends.”

President Bio didn’t sugarcoat the lacklustre performance of his baby ministers. Instead, he highlighted their preference for playing alone in the sandbox, ignoring the complex puzzles that needed solving. “I put this team together because I can’t be the only grown-up here,” he scolded.

“We’re facing tough times, and the people expect more from us than finger-painting and sandbox squabbles.”

He continued, “Some of you are behaving like toddlers in a toy store, running in different directions with no coordination. We need commitment to drive change, and it must start today. Right now!”

In a firm yet nurturing tone, President Bio addressed the classroom cliques and petty feuds that had become commonplace. Baby Ministers and their deputies were like siblings fighting over the last cookie, and this infighting was hindering any real progress. “Remember,” he reminded them, “no one can do this job alone. We need team planning, proper delegation and a break from our bureaucratic naptime.”

With the patience of a seasoned daycare provider, President Bio called for unity and efficiency. He urged his ministers to embrace a culture of collaboration, delegation, and accountability, much like teaching children to share their toys and clean up after themselves.

The Retreat ended with President Bio hoping his political preschoolers would finally step up, stop the tantrums and start working together for the collective good of the Sierra Leonean people. But as he looked out over the sea of solemn faces, he couldn’t help but wonder if he needed a bigger stick or perhaps just more patience to turn this daycare into a functioning public service outfit.